So they have these Diet Cokes in the fridge at KC, and on the side of all of them says Secret Santa. Not cute names like Molly or Jahova, but Secret Santa. Which happened.... literally last year. So why, pray tell, are there Diet Cokes in the fridge from last year. How the hell can Diet Coke even stay good for that long? It's completely disconcerting...
.....I drank two of them.
I'm pretty sure our internship is trying to poison us. All the snacks are organic and claim to be delicious. But let's just take a moment and reflect on the difference between organic cookies and cardboard....
..... Cardboard doesn't give you gas in meetings.
Also I will give said cookies an honorable mention for the confidence on the packaging. Apparently they were "made with love and passion." Which, if you think about it, is how most children start out but then after you have them you're just filled with regret. But this was someone's brain child and what they forgot to keep in mind that "ginnybakes" rhymes with "bellyquakes" and people who eat gluten free like to live dangerously.
In case you were wondering, snacks are very important to an intern. We're not getting paid and oftentimes are waiting for our next task once we have finished the last one. I mean there is only so much you can find out about assless chaps and menial tasks and hobbies that were created during the 1850's. Besides, in order to keep your creative juices flowing around here you have to eat stuff no matter how suspicious it may be.
My mormon coworker can attest to that. She has a legit pyramid of wrappers and has been downing the Secret Santa diet coke like she is actually getting paid to do it.
Good.
The faster she drinks the 6 month old diet coke the faster it'll replaced with 3 month old diet coke that will probably say Happy Easter on the side.
(Proof Below)
Happy Wednesday.
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